A porn and dog filled adventure. P.S vampire wrestler

Reviewed by Zombotic on May 02, 2007  |  report this review

Listen up gang,

This game has more porn and more dogs in it than any other game I have ever played. Not run-of-the-mill heterosexual porn, but a nice variety of gay porn. It is not explicit porn, so maybe it isn't even considered porn at all, but in order to get new moves for one of your characters (Gepetto and his doll), you bring cards featuring images of men to set of gay brothers, and one of them makes you an outfit. Most of the men on the cards are completely nude covering their member with a well-placed musical instrument or whatever object fits into the scheme of their name (such as Mr. Sax, Mr. Chef or Mr. Detective).

This aspect of the game is very comical, and each Mr. card is hilariously illustrated. If you're a simple, closed-minded individual who thinks you'll be cast into the fire in the center of the earth just for looking at them, avoid this game completely because you should be off studying your bible and living in fear for the rest of your life instead.

Next up, the dogs. Don't worry. There isn't dog porn in the game, and actually there aren't even many dogs. Most of them are wolves. One of the main characters in your party, Blanca, is a wolf with some sort of British accent. I should pause for a minute and say that the voice acting for all the likable characters in the game is really good. There are some obnoxious characters who annoyed me and I found the voice acting for them annoying on principle.

Back to the wolves. As Blanca, you fight in Wolf Bouts throughout the game. There are some truly memorable characters who are these wolves, including the zany last one. I don't really have much to say about the wolves other than what I did, but I thought mentioning them would make for a nice sensational subject title.

As for the vampire wrestler mentioned in the title, one of the characers you get named Joachim Valentine (the last name being a reference to Vincent Valentine from that other RPG) is a vampire who turns into a bat occasionally and happens to be a wrestler. I absolutely hate wrestling, but Joachim is a likable guy with the craziest weapons in the game (including a giant fish). His side story is an interesting one.

Speaking of stories, the main story is an interesting one. I won't go into detail about it since I forgot almost all of it already, but I assure you that while you're playing, it is interesting. Keep in mind I started the game two and a half years ago and didn't play for two of those years, picking it back up a few months ago. I would be the worst professional reviewer in the business.

I originally had a detailed explanation of the battle system, but my review was too long. Needless to say, the battle system is absolutely great and I never got tired of random battles, which is incredible. This game is swell, and so are you.

Top Class

Reviewed by Cravendark on February 13, 2008  |  report this review

Shadow Hearts: Covenant is probably one of the best RPG's I've ever played, up there with the ranks of Final Fantasy VII (although not quite). This game is interesting from beginning to end, and it has taken everything the original Shadow Hearts had to offer, doubled it, and improved every aspect possible.
The characters all have a very distinctive and unique personality, keeping the storyline very fluid, unlike other RPG's with characters that are so boring that you almost forget they exist. There are plenty of CGI scenes, and storyline scenes, but without taking away all of the action.
The combat system, like the first game requires you to stop a marker on a circle called the "Judgement Ring", easily compared to stopping a hand on a clock moving at sometimes incredibly fast speeds. Only this time around, there are improvements to be made to the ring, such as adding more than 3 attacking points (unlike the 1st, where 3 was the maximum).
And most of all, the main points that I myself look for in a great RPG, this game has.

1. A deep and involving plot that keeps you laughing, crying, frightened, and content, through the entire game.

2. A wonderful battle system that keeps things interesting.

3. Very imaginative characters with deep personalities and quirks.

4. Extremely lengthy. 2 full DVD disks worth of playtime.

5. The souls that Yuri fuses with are just plain Awesome.

6. A busload of extras and sidequests to keep you busy for many, many hours once you reach the end of the game.

7. And finally, replay value. Once you complete the game, you have the ability to replay through, keeping alot of your money, abilities, etc. intact. (Which is always a great thing to have!)

In conclusion, this game is a MUST HAVE for any RPG enthusiasts. Genuinely a diamond in the rough.